I am 22 years old and March of 2016 my entire life was flipped upside down. At the time, I was taking pre-pharmacy classes, finishing up my junior year. I was still involved with a guy I dated for 2 years. We had broken up a while back, but I still “loved” him and continued hanging out with him and sleeping with him, in hopes that maybe one day he would want me back (he didn’t).
I was with my ex-boyfriend when I took the pregnancy test. Seeing that test read “Pregnant 1-2 weeks” was the beginning of a huge change in my life. I immediately showed him the test and we both began to cry. All these mixed emotions and thoughts start flooding my head “I am only 21 years old. I am still in school. I still have a life that I want to finish before having a child.”
I’m going to be honest; my first response was to get an abortion. I would go in, it would be a quick procedure and I’ll never have to think about this pregnancy. The ex was relieved with my decision and began looking up clinics nearby for more information. Throughout that day I thought more about my decision, contemplating between having an abortion or not. I did research on abortion and the mental effects of having an abortion. The “famous” PlannedParenthood.org definition of abortion using vacuum aspiration is “dilating the uterus, and using a small, hand-held suction device or suction machine to take the pregnancy tissue out of your uterus.” My own definition of this is killing your child. There’s no way to sugar coat it; an abortion is a procedure where you terminate the life of your child. If I did this, it would not be a quick fix. This is a life changing procedure that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
I went to my ex later that week and told him about my change in decision. He tried changing my mind with the typical concerns people have with an unexpected pregnancy. “Our life will be over if you have this baby. We’re still in school. A baby isn’t a part of our plan right now.” I stayed firm with my decision. God doesn’t make mistakes and I knew there was some reason God decided to get me pregnant before I was ready. My ex finally suggested going to a pregnancy center to explore our options. The next week we went to Hand of Hope pregnancy center.
All the staff members are committed to helping women, as well as their unborn babies. Right when I walked in I felt a sense of relief. These women were here to help me make the best decision for me. One of the counselors sat down and talked to us about the pregnancy. One of the first things they did was showed me a bible verse from Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” They assured me that this baby was not a mistake. God had planned this baby to come during this period of my life. God had even made plans for the growing baby inside me. God loved me so much that he gave me the amazing gift of a child. He trusted me to be a mother to this baby, whether I planned to be a mother or not.
After talking with the counselor, we went into a room to get an ultrasound. The ultrasound screen showed a tiny grey area which was my baby. The biggest thing I noticed during this was that inside my baby was a strong heartbeat, flickering on the screen. I was only 6 weeks pregnant at the time. Yes, my baby not yet looked like a baby on the ultrasound screen, but there was strong heartbeat, that you could easily see, flickering on the screen. That heartbeat of life that God gave me and trusted me to take care of, love, and eventually raise. I saw true love for the first time on that ultrasound screen.
The last day of exams, right before I went home for the summer, the ex and I sat down with his mother. I will never forget one of the last things she said to me “If you choose to keep this baby, just know that will be the most selfish thing to do.” Starting to already fall in love with this growing baby, I was heartbroken.
Communication between my ex and me ended that day. Reality set in that I’m going to be a single mom. My child may never know who his dad is. But I knew that with my parents support, my son Noah would have the necessities and I could give him a good life.
Three weeks before his due date, on November 24, 2016, Thanksgiving Day, my beautiful, 7 pound 10 oz. healthy, baby boy arrived. At 3:24 pm, I met my true love. An innocent human being that I had created and had the honor of bringing into the world. I wouldn’t change my decision for anything.
This boy has changed my life. Having this baby was the best thing that ever happened to me. My child has pushed me to be the best mom I can be. He has pushed me to go back to school in order to give him the best life possible. My plans in attending pharmacy school went as planned. I am currently in pharmacy school now, with my precious baby turning a year-old next month.
I hope my story helps other women out there that may be in the situation I was in. You may feel alone and scared. Remember that God doesn’t make mistakes. A baby is a gift that shouldn’t be taken for granted.