Khalilah and Ashton
Almost a year ago, I had my beautiful, happy, crazy, yet very high-maintenance baby boy, Ashton. Before I found out I was pregnant, I was scared. I had no idea how I was going to do this alone, with no job, and trying to finish high school. At first, I hadn’t planned on parenting Ashton, and was leaning towards adoption. Adoption seemed like the best option at the time because I didn’t feel ready to have a child, and had not even planned on having children. I wasn’t ready for the late night poopy diapers, the sleepless nights, the tears, and most of all- I wasn’t mentally or emotionally ready to be a mother. I wasn’t ready to be anyone’s source of reliability!
The September before Ashton was born, I started a program at Matrix, called Earn While You Learn. It was easy to open up to my mentor as the time went on. The more classes I took, I felt closer and closer to my Matrix family. They cared about, comforted, and informed me about so much regarding caring for my son. Through an ultrasound, they showed me that the baby growing inside of me was so much more than just a fetus or “tissue”. I learned that I have many other options besides abortion. I learned there is so much more to parenting than I thought, but that with a little help I could really do it. I eventually decided parenting was the best choice for me and Ashton.
Almost a year later, I feel like being Ashton’s mom is a job that comes so naturally now. It can be easy at times, but it can also be hard. It can actually be harder than most people think. It takes everything in me to keep up with Ashton, be emotionally and mentally prepared for the good and the bad. I think I have grown with my son so much. I’m honestly so proud of both him and myself as we have grown and continue to grow together and keep up with each other. Something about carrying Ashton for 9 months and being his mom has changed my life so much. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. With my Matrix family and the crazy amount of support I have, I can say I honestly wouldn’t have made it alone.